Learning Encounter: Encountering Heads, Hearts                                                           and Heaven

Learning Encounter (LE) class is coming to a close, but the impact of LE is not going to vanish. I see the students of this class are becoming agents of fostering a Christian community of seminary education, who will ripple the pool of conventional top-down methodology of teaching and learning. As one of the agents, I am so glad to share my gleanings.

1. Deep Learning – How Deep Can I Go?

I used to be deeply influenced by a book named “The Art of Learning” (not the one authored by Joshua Waitzkin). This book, described euphemistically as The Art of Learning, actually introduces strategies of effective learning including how to write a score-winning paper, etc. When Brother Casey was critically evaluating Mastery Learning and Strategic Learning, for a few seconds he sounded a little titillating or patronizing to me. I was wondering whether he was devaluing the essentiality of head knowledge. It seemed that the learning culture of a community does not require so much individual effort in pursuing head knowledge any more. “Faith seeks understanding.” (St. Anselm) Intellectuals will not be convinced by Christian faith unless they find gratification in theological knowledge.  

But, when he expounds the concept of Deep Learning, I was inspired by him and totally agree with him. Learning in a community does not deny and deprive individual endeavour and strength, instead it motivates and conduces to the learner to be a deeper thinker who seeks truthful meaning that leads to the way, the  truth and the life – Jesus Christ. Deep Learning is definitely not as superficial as I assumed previously.

2. Fidelity to Community – A Commitment by Heart

For her book Living into Community, I will give Christine Pohl a sister’s hug if I have a chance to meet her. I love the part of Making and Keeping Promises.  What is fidelity? Fidelity is making and keeping promises. Jesus is in the same storm-tossed boat with His followers, He was hung on the cross while His friends fled…He has promised He will be always with His people till the very end of age, no matter what. He is a faithful friend in all situations. True fidelity is to be faithful to one’s community or friends even faced by threat or danger. To us sinners, it is not easy to be committed to keeping-promise especially when the situation turns detrimental to ourselves. We often calculate the pros and cons of fidelity. If we judge the worthiness of keeping-promise by our mind not by our heart, we probably would not keep the promise with fidelity. Fidelity is a fruit of the 

heart that is true to God all the time.

Pohl states, “If we do not grasp God’s faithfulness and the importance of our own fidelity,

it is impossible to make sense of great sacrifices for the Kingdom.” (Pohl)  I will never be only a fair weather friend to Jesus. This is my promise to Jesus. In ACTS College, there are many students who stay faithful to the community through thicks and thins. Their silent fidelity speaks a lot to me. 

3. Christian Learning Community – Community of Faith

I was really touched by my classmates’ posted reflection and interactive messages. There

are so many anonymous angels around within this learning community. These angels sacrificed their personal time to scan documents for the whole class to share so that everyone can enjoy the convenience of available learning resources. They are the practitioners of 1 Corinthians 10: 24 who do not seek their own good, but the good of others. They are the unsung heroes. Their faith is seen on the little and small things they do.  Their altruism makes our learning environment distinctively different from the secular learning communities – not a place for  competitive performance, but a heavenly place for learners. If each member in a Christian learning community wills to be an angel serving others, that community is a heaven on earth.

Frankly, I was set back when I was on my first module in AGBC as I found some 

classmates were unwilling to share their resources. Let the bad experience flow with water under the bridge! I will promote the Christian altruism to my fellow classmates in future.

4. Relaxed Alertedness – Tasting Success w/o Fear

(A Pick-up from Outside Reading)

Relaxed Alertedness, the brain’s optimum state for learning, is a term first coined by Renata and Geoffery Caine in their book Making Connections as far back as 1991. Caines discover that if a learner is put into a state of being where he/she feels comfortable and experiences a high level of challenge, his/her brain operates with β wave which produces the best learning outcome. When he/she is expected to reach a goal of perfection, the learner will be threatened and his/her brainwave will be switched to α wave which will caused tension and fear within himself/herself; on the contrary, if the learning environment is too cosy and the learning goal is not challenging enough, the learner’s brain will shut down its executive function. （You may refer to the illustration below. ）

 This website tells more: http://www.thelearningweb.net/chapter04/page169.html. In short, Relaxed Alertedness consists of a combination of high challenge and high expectations with low threat in the learning community as a whole. It is a state of mind that combines confidence, competence and intrinsic motivation.

Knowing Relaxed Alertedness, I always consciously try my best to assist friends within my group to achieve Relaxed Alertness. How can I help my friends reach the best learning state? Here you go:

a)  Let my friends feel cared for and respected; share “fellowship meal” with  them; share learning materials and information as well;

b) Set a goal together with other group members and make sure each one is comfortable with and confident of the goal;

c) Offer help to others and receive help from others with a thankful heart;

d) Provide specific, positive, constructive feedback on the progress of group work;

e) Allow myself and others to make mistakes; celebrate what we have learned from the mistakes.

Certainly, there are f), g), and h)…

Last but not least, I must say a few words for our heroic rabbi who has launched a challenge on the monotonous, monological and even monopolizing andragogy. Just a salute to the courageous reformer. Please do not be pai sei, Brother Casey!

Hospitality: Practice of Faith

Knowing Impostor Syndrome - One Achievement I Am Proud of

In the past, I hardly felt proud of myself, almost never. Knowing I have Impostor Syndrome has resolved my confusion about the inability to affirm myself, even when achieving something that everyone else might have desired for. I did very well as a NIE student and presented three academic papers on pedagogy of teaching Chinese as a second language, at three different international conferences in consecutive years, when I was still a beginning teacher. I achieved what some senior teachers could not throughout their lives. However, when I was a school teacher, the most painstaking job for me was to record my own achievements or accomplishments in my year-end report to be submitted to MOE. I struggled and struggled with it. After I submitted my first draft, my supervisor would remind me, “To be fair, can you please add more positive words to yourself?” Studying at ACTS College, since second semester of last year, I often suspected I was losing my Chinese language as I obtained better grades in English modules than Chinese modules. I was even planning to go to SIM for a year to “gain back” my Chinese.

Now I know this psychological phenomenon is called “Impostor Syndrome.” Knowing my weakness and being courageous to admit it are my victory that I am proud of. Intrapersonal communication and intrapersonal examinations are very important processes that make me a better person. Interpersonal relationships much depend on the outcomes of intrapersonal sensitivity and sensibility. To put it simple, I must know who I am and how I am, then I am able to relate to others better. It is not a shame to confess one’s weakness for “when I am weak, then I am strong.” On one hand, I see the need to lean more on God, just like a child leaning her father’s shoulder; on the other hand, I am aware that I should avoid the unhealthy intrapersonal tendency – the chronic self-doubt and feelings of intellectual fraudulence. I will put more faith in God as well as in myself.

Trying Intentional Marginality - One Practice I Have Found Challenging

Our church has a ministry that serves gamblers. Many years passed, and I only have Sister Pauline from this ministry as my friend. When I try to communicate with the brothers and sisters who used to have gambling habit or addiction, most of they just shun me. Probably because they do not see me identical to them? I have no idea about it. Frankly speaking, I may know their financial constraints and family relationship tensions caused by gambling, but I cannot fathom how vulnerable they are deep inside their hearts.  I think lacking similar background to the people being ministered to could be an obstacle in practising Intentional Marginality. In short, Intentional Marginality needs interpersonal relational space.

Intentional Marginality also needs time. Another factor that attributes to the difficulty of practising Intentional Marginality is fast life pace in Singapore. To taste what the weak taste, to feel what the weak feel, requires someone to set aside the busy schedule and slow down his steps. Living in a hectic life style, I probably have missed many needy ones passing by me. Intentional Marginality is genuine empathy, not sympathy or just a format of condescension. It really takes time. Should I love the needy like Jesus loved the poor with all his heart? It challenges my faith. Or maybe just a humble heart will be enough for Intentional Marginality? When my humility is heartfelt among the weak flesh without stooping or intended guise, I am getting closer to the heart of Jesus. Hence, Intentional Marginality leads to heart-to-heart connections.

Drawing Boundaries – A Lesson for Life

Drawing boundaries to me once was something out of the question, and I had never known how to set boundaries when hospitalizing others. When the Indonesian domestic worker I hired was lavishing my food to entertain her personal friends, I was shocked. But I only saw her problem and never realized it was partly my problem as well. When the study mum and her son who was one of my P6 students then were homeless in Singapore, I sincerely invited the mother and son to stay in my home without charging a single cent of rental. I thought grace should meet grace. I could never expect or imagine that my favourite skirt, a gift from my best friend, was “missing” from my wardrobe in the master room which was unlocked all the time. Well, it did happen.  I didn’t confront the lady and pretended nothing happened, because Jesus said, “If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.” However, deep inside I was really angry with her – how could she have done such a despicable thing to her benefactor? Soon I reminded myself, as a Christian, I was not supposed to harbour anger towards anyone even my “enemy.”   So I knelt down to repent and asked the Lord to forgive me. I returned to the shop where the skirt was purchased hoping to buy back the same skirt, but the sales girl told me “no more stock.” On my way home, I told the Lord, “I have laid down my anger at your feet, but I still miss my skirt so much.”

Until the moment I read about the importance of boundaries in hospitality in Pohl’s book, I realized where I went wrong previously. Listening to Sis Davina’s elaboration on this topic, I was totally set free. Indeed, boundaries set me free to love. I learned that without boundaries it would be difficult to experience the fullness of relationships. Boundaries protect me, help me receive what is important to me and train people how to behave around me. Setting boundaries in hospitality does not mean being stingy or cynical. God expects his people to give what they can give, not to give beyond what they can. Therefore it does not discount my faith in God. And, “hospitality resists boundaries that endanger persons by denying their humanness.” (Pohl)  Hence, from now onwards I will allow myself to set healthy boundaries – to say “no” to what does not align with my values, to say “yes” to what does. I believe that boundaries will assist me to remain spiritually healthy, honest and living a Christian life that is true to myself.  I will still hospitalize strangers with sincerity, but plus prudence next time. And now, I do not agree with “no-boundarism or anti-boundarism.”

Last, but not least, I would like to share Gitanjali 50 by Rabindranath Tagore:

I had gone a begging from door to door in the village path, when thy golden chariot appeared in the distance like a gorgeous dream and I wondered who was this King of all kings!
My hopes rose high and methought my evil days were at an end, and I stood waiting for alms to be given unasked and for wealth scattered on all sides in the dust.
The chariot stopped where I stood. Thy glance fell on me and thou camest down with a smile. I felt that the luck of my life had come at last. Then of a sudden thou didst hold out thy right hand and say `What hast thou to give to me?'
Ah, what a kingly jest was it to open thy palm to a beggar to beg! I was confused and stood undecided, and then from my wallet I slowly took out the least little grain of corn and gave it to thee.
But how great my surprise when at the day's end I emptied my bag on the floor to find a least little gram of gold among the poor heap. I bitterly wept and wished that I had had the heart to give thee my all.

Reading Paul’s Letters to A Troubled Church: A Reflection

A fatherly apostle wrote at least 3 letters to the Christians in Corinth, a bustling seaport, a free and open society, and perhaps another Sodom.  Nearly 2000 years passed, yet the letters are still applicable to churches today. Below is my reflection on this journey of studying I and II Corinthians. 

1. Feminism

One of the reasons that I selected this module was that I wanted to find out how should a woman Christian respond to feminism. According to conventional wisdom, women had/have been an oppressed class throughout much of history. Men believed that “Frailty, thy name is woman.” In Paul’s time, “the Romans never hated women quite as much as the Greeks did,” but women’s social status was not much improved. For example, “Roman citizens had three names…Women, however, had only the clan name and the family name. They had no individual names.”

It was Jesus who broke down the walls between genders. Throughout His ministry,  Jesus vigorously promoted the dignity and equality of women. He affirmed, honoured and encouraged them in their faith, and he even talked about them to men as positive examples of faith. And the women did show their faith by standing firmly beneath the Cross when the man disciples fled away. What Jesus did was a revolution and absolutely controversial for His time. Hence, I agree with some feminist scholars who suggest that the group of people who insisted on following Jesus alone could be the woman prophets of 1 Corinthians 11: 2-16 – women of low status.  For such women, to be in Christ meant to shed a life of shame and to claim a sense of dignity and authority they had never known before. Because Jesus alone had saved them from degradation, they refused to identify with any current leaders, including Paul, though Paul claimed, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3: 28)

Well, to have dignity and equality, a woman does not need to override the other gender to prove her authority and power, vice versa. Does gender equality contradicts submission? Submission, suggested by Paul, means I voluntarily limit what I might do naturally in this relationship in order to benefit you. If I have more power, instead of doing what I might do naturally and use that power to make my life easier, out of reverence for Christ I'll use my power instead to serve you. I'll give up even my life in order to benefit you. Submission also means that if I have less power, instead of doing what I might do naturally and fight you every step of the way, I'm going to show you respect and honour. Why must feminism? What is so scary about submission?

2. Death

Some Corinthian Christians doubted on resurrection. That led to intensive class discussion on the topic of “death.” Someone mentioned “martyrdom.” That reminded me how David Livingstone died in Africa, how William Carey died in India, how Susan Bird died in China, how Mary Slessor died in Nigeria… and the death of Kenjo Goto, the Japanese journalist laid down his life for a friend captured by ISIS，exactly as Jesus says in John 15: 13. I have started to think how I will die a Christian death when my curtain is down.

The Irish Homily (or Cambrai Homily) expounds on Matthiew 16:24 with an explanation of three modes of Martyrdom designated by the colours- red, green and white:

Red Martyrdom – those who die for the sake of faith;

White Martyrdom – those who leave behind everything, e.g. possessions, titles and relationships, for the sake of God’s Kingdom.

Green Martyrdom – those who leave behind comforts and pleasures of ordinary society to live hermits’ lives on mountaintops or lonely islands.

“The blood of martyrs is the seed of the church.” (Tertullian) I may not deserve a red martyrdom for God, but I can choose to live a life as a white martyr, living every day to its fullest for Him.    

                            

3. Giving

Fee’s book is an academic eye-opener for me, while Arnold Yeung’s book never fails to stir me up. In his book To Be His Servant: A Study on II Corinthians, Yeung speaks highly of St. Francis of Assisi whose embrace of Christ-like poverty was radical notion at the time. The saint abandoned a life of luxury for a life purely devoted to Jesus. He carried no wallet when he travelled, always gave all he had to the needy, and he even kissed the faces of the lepers. To give money is not the highest level of Christian giving, but to give one’s heart is the highest level. This really challenges my faith, especially after I heard what Brother Casey said about the 3 steps of reading the Bible – exegesis, application and response. How should respond to such a challenge?  How far can I go?

4. Fun

Learning is fun, especially in a community. I am a people-centric person, so I like to mingle with people. Working together on the group project, I see God’s amazing creation – He has made His children so different, gifted in various ways; different, but same, as we are all His children. The fun part is each one’s sense of humour. I guess our God must be a very humorous God, right? Through laughter by laughter, inadvertently, we inspired one another. That is the beauty of cooperative learning. 

Reference:

Cunningham, Loren and David Hamilton. Why Not Women? Singapore: YWAM Training Centre, 2006. 

                                                   A Reflection

I must confess that I had neglected the little epistle Philemon since I became a Christian. I wondered so much why Sis Davina had chosen this unspectacular small letter as the main teaching material. God not only forgave my spiritual myopia, but also He broadened my spiritual horizon, set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand (Psalm 40:2), through the gloomy days.

I have been scrambling for time, precious time, since beginning of this semester, so much so that I shouted to the Lord “My Lord, I thirst for you, and I also thirst for time!” Previously when teaching in a government school I was already a trained multi-tasked doer. In fact, all school teachers have to be. However, I realized that I must go through great adjustments this year since a series of things on my agenda all the time. Often things did not go smoothly, I had to sacrifice my sleep to pray and pray and pray. Sometimes, frustration and fear crept into my heart and I cried to Him, “Why do you put me in a furnace? Lord, how long must I wait? Will you forget me? Forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:1)”

Unable to afford much time spent on studies after class, I always kept myself highly attentive in class, trying to catch every single word the lecturers said. However, still, I found no satisfaction with myself. Gradually, I was losing confidence in studying all modules, especially when suffering from fatigue and sickness. Then I decided to quit 1 module which was not a compulsory one – NT Exegesis.  

One day, I had a bit free time, and somehow started to read Philemon, seriously. The Holy Spirit alerted me, “I am not a slave owner! You are not the slave Onesimus, never! Onesimus is not a slave in my Kingdom, but he is one of my sons and you are one of my daughters. How can a father be a bystander watching his daughter struggling helplessly? I am sad to see you don’t trust me. Depend on me and I will surprise you! You will be riding on the eagle’s wings.” I murmured, “For academic thingy, one only can work hard to grab achievements, right? No pains, no gains. That’s the rule. But now, I am too desperate and I want to depend on You, God; or else, whom can I depend on? Surprise me by Your surprises.”

Soon, the first surprise came. Not having enough time for preparation I received inspiration from above and finished a short paper which won me the highest mark. That was far beyond my expectation.  Below is an excerpt from the short paper (Please ignore it if you don’t have time to read it):

Therapeutic culture is one of the features that mark postmodernism. I find secular therapeutic culture tends to satisfy people’s emotional and psychological needs. It may go as deep as touching people’s spirituality, yet it does not help people to find the truth or truthful values. Christian inner healing is different as it heals people’s emotional and psychological wounds, and also it restores the “spiritual man” and leads him to Christ. The danger of therapeutic culture is that it provides spiritual anaesthesia to people who will be inclined to shunning their moral responsibilities. On the contrary, Christian inner healing is a process where Christ Himself deals with human souls through the “bridge” of soul workers of Christianity.

The second surprise was that Ps Emily commended me in class for my performance in conducting a mock funeral. I could see the sparkles of excitement in her big eyes. What a morale booster! Suddenly, it occurred to me that things were NOT as bad as I had thought, and of course I could finish the course of Greek 3. God is able, so am I! My Lord, what is your next surprise for me?

Looking to our almighty God, we can depend on Him for any reason and for anything! Academic achievement is not something I want to share with you. It is the joy that I want to share with you, my beloved brothers and sisters. Any flowery language would still fail me to express thanks to God for He has delivered me from the bondage of the spirit of being a slave, which had disturbed me for quite a while. Now I have crushed that deceitful spirit into tiny fragments and blown them far far away from me.  There has been a divine intention for me to study Book of Philemon at His timing.

Last but not least, a grateful thank and deep appreciation to the teacher in class and beyond class – Sis Dav!